Dream On
by MeganJanes
Summary: All Human, AU, set in New York City. Edward is dark and jaded, very far from the concept of loving someone. Bella is a 21-year-old college drop out that left Washington to pursue a career of theatre actress. The story of a very unique connection that will change them both.
1. Breathe Baby Breathe

Chapter 1

Breathe baby breathe

First time she ever saw him he seemed to have a time of his life. It was in a crowded music venue, one of many in New York City. She was new to the city, wandering around on a Friday evening, the city buzzing with excited energy, groups of friends laughing, having fun, excited about the night ahead. She couldn't help but feel a little envious – it will take her some time to develop friends, she never seemed to be able to let people in easily. Trusting people didn't come easy to Bella Swan, she learned it the hard way. It will take some time, she sighed… She was enjoying the city, the exploration of it, it was just a bit unnerving to be on her own. For the first time in her life. New city, new life, new everything really. How scary and exciting at the same time. She was passing buy this crowd in front of a venue, music venue, she thought, judging by people with guitar cases and some other gear. That got her attention for a second. She looked at the marquee – "Freefall". "Oh my, I love this band," she thought. She's definitely never been to a live show alone before; fear got a hold of her for a second. But the alternative was to sit in her room and write in her journal, bemoaning about how it sucks to not have a friend in a new city on a Friday night. Or, she could suck it up, push out of her comfort zone and try to make friend on a Friday night. If nothing else just enjoy the music. She sucked in a deep breath and pushed forward through what looked like a sea of smoking laughing musicians.

"The cover is $10 cash only", said a girl that was definitely over her night, not a hint of a smile. "Sure, one sec", said Bella trying to find her wallet in her not-so-big purse that somehow always managed to turn into a black hole when she needed to get something quickly. Finally paid, stamped and sent downstairs she found herself being really nervous, God knows why. "Get yourself together", she thought, "it's not a big deal, you're being silly". She took a deep breath and scolded herself for suddenly turning so insecure. "Just don't take drinks from strangers and you'll be fine", she thought.

Finally she reached the bottom of those steps and opened the door. The place was crowded, the band was on the stage already; she looked around and spotted a bar. Some alcohol was definitely needed to soothe her nerves a bit, but looking around, the experience didn't seem as intimidating as a second before. She ordered vodka cranberry and started towards the stage.

She saw him right away. He was standing by the wall with several friends, laughing, sipping on his drink. No girl friends, just boys. There was certain level of arrogance around them that both attracted and repelled her in equal measure. And him, he definitely seemed like a leader of that click. He had this air of power about him, even danger maybe. Were they the rich kids of nyc, she mused? She wouldn't be surprised; wealth and power go hand in hand. She caught herself staring and immediately looked towards the stage, God forbid _He_ will catch her staring! Suddenly she felt like she's terribly underdressed, just her favorite hoodie, very modest black top, jeans and converse. She never really cared about fashion that much but his presence definitely made her question her choice of clothing tonight. For some reason she started to feel that she's dressed like a child, or somewhere between a child and a woman. And he was definitely a man, not a boy. The energy around him was too heavy, whatever boy traits he had must've been wiped out a while ago. She spent the rest of the night observing them out of the corner of her eye, being very careful not to get caught.

Thirty minutes later she decided on a second drink. Show was almost over but she wanted to prolong this experience if just for a little bit. Somewhere on the 4thsong she realized that she was really enjoying herself, the music, the ambiance, the view on the left… She was glad she came.

Group of arrogant boys was still in place. After careful observation she could tell, he only _seemed_ to have a time of his life. There was some sadness about him, something she recognized but couldn't put a finger on it. He seemed lonely, even if surrounded by people. Or maybe she was just letting her imagination run wild, she thought. He didn't even notice her that night, and on some level she was grateful – her clothes, her hair, lack of makeup, pretty much everything about her was screaming that they are no match. Her insecurities were sticking out in her head when she was looking at him. To say that he was handsome is a grave understatement. His face, his lines, like a work of a sculptor, his dark features, everything about him really, mesmerized her. He was very tall, definitely stylish, it was this look, designer but unkempt. He would look just as organic at Upper East Side dinner as he looked at a rock'n'roll show.

20 more minutes later the show was over. It seemed like the crew she spent paying more attention to than the show itself knew the band. "Of course they would," she thought, "like they can be any more cool. That is just unfair" she sighed. They came up to them, congratulated them on a great show and then somehow disappeared. She couldn't believe she lost them out of sight; she turned away for just a few seconds. "Well, I guess that is enough excitement for one night," she thought and headed towards the exit.

They were smoking outside when she came out, talking to some gorgeous blond. She could not feel more invisible even if she wanted to. She started walking towards the subway, not looking back even once. "Why is this stranger managed to shook me so much?" she wondered. She was kicking herself for wearing that stupid hoodie, for not exploring her feminine side, like ever… It was comfortable not attracting too much attention, it was comfortable to wear hoodies and hide, she realized. Hiding. That's what she was doing. And tonight for the first time she wanted to be seen. She wanted him to see her.

She might never see him again but she was done hiding, she decided. She came to New York for that – new life, new chapter. She's going to take her annoying new roommate up on her offer to shop for her; she'll learn to wear heels with ease, to make her hair frizz-less… Whatever it is that "woman version of Bella" is, she will figure it out.


	2. Off Balance

Chapter 2

Off Balance

She didn't see him again until maybe 8 months later. In a weird way meeting him the first time (well, not meeting really, just seeing across the room) triggered some positive changes in her life: she reached out to her roommate who was extremely happy to have another subject to play personal shopper/designer for. She took her all over the city and managed to get her new designer wardrobe for 80% off original price – that girl was a genius when it came to sales, any kind of sales, from new season designer promo sales that apparently you need to get on a waitlist for (just wow), to seasonal sales, to discount stores, online stores, eBay… She was indeed the master of shopping. Somewhere in between all that shopping, they became friends. Her name was Alice, she was studying at Parsons to become a designer (no surprise there), she was living in New York for the third year already and because she definitely knew the city better than Bella, she became her city guide as well as her personal shopper. They got along pretty well but Bella was still holding back, her trust issues always present, somewhere in the background. Alice did help her with the makeup as well, helped her to find the right products for her hair. She even dragged her to her favorite hair stylist for some highlights and mask treatments.

Slowly but surely she was becoming more and more confident. Even in her acting, she was challenging herself in a completely new way, volunteering to play characters who seemed too risqué for her before. She came to New York to study acting after dropping out of the University of Washington and squashing her father's dream of her becoming a lawyer. It was a bold move but she was miserable in that school, watching her life passing by as if she was a passenger, not a driver. She barely felt like she was living at all, just going through motions… She was glad she dropped out, at least now she felt like she was living. One day her father will understand, she kept repeating to herself.

She looked at herself in the mirror, before leaving for school – she looked good. She had a beautiful top on that really complimented her curves, Rag & Bone jeans that looked a little ripped, super cool badass boots that she adored and beautiful black trench coat. She was walking on the edge between classy and rebellious, God bless Alice. Her make-up was very natural, just little accents on her cheekbones, eyes, and lips, her skin was glowing, her hair was in an artful ponytail that looked a bit messy which was absolutely intentional. She had two classes today and then she was meeting Alice for dinner and drinks after. It was a Friday night after all, they were planning to do something fun – maybe seeing a movie or some live music, they'll figure it out, she thought.

Hours later she and Alice were sitting at a table having dinner and a glass of wine when a group of 3 men rolled in and took a table in the corner. Bella knew something in the air changed, she was afraid to look up because she felt like she might stop breathing. Alice was chatting happily about this school project she just turned in but Bella couldn't hear a thing. She felt like everything was happening in slow motion – she looked up and her eyes went straight to that corner table, the seat in the middle. She stopped breathing. It was him. No doubt. Over these months a memory of him was fading away, she could barely remember what he looked like or what was he wearing, she just remembered the feeling he evoked in her. Now looking at him she was shocked, her memories were very bleak compared to the real thing. She reminded herself to inhale or she's going to pass out, and when she already thought she got herself under control, his eyes landed on her.

The concept of time is an interesting thing. It is very relative. Time _and_ space. Because when he looked at her time literally stopped moving. She couldn't even hear the restaurant anymore. The whole world ceased to exist. She finally understood the meaning behind the words "tunnel vision". His eyes were so black she was drowning. He was sucking her in. It could've been an hour, it could've been 10 seconds she couldn't tell but finally, he looked away.

The whole world rushed back in and it was a sensory overload. Suddenly the noise of the restaurant was too loud, the light was too bright and all the air rushed into her lungs at ones. She nervously grabbed her glass of wine to take a sip, fighting to get control over her senses. Alice was flirting with the waiter now, talking about desserts, something about ice-cream sundae and Bella chose that moment to excuse herself and escape to the restroom. Once securely locked in the stall she took a second to process what just happened. "Why him again? And why he throws me so off balance?" she thought. She willed herself to calm down, get it together. It was ridiculous really, she told herself. She never even exchanged a single word with that guy. "It is definitely all in my head," she told herself cringing at the thought that she probably looked like a deer in a headlight when he looked at her. "How embarrassing" she mumbled under her breath and decided to go splash some water on her face and refresh her make-up to win some time and get back her equilibrium. Her lousy salad is definitely not going to be finished tonight.

When she stepped out of the restroom and headed for the table she gasped. One of them, one of the three, the blond, was standing by their table talking to Alice. She continued to the table, trying to stay calm.

"Hey Bella, this is Jasper," said Alice, "he was just inviting us to this club opening tonight, his friend is opening a club in the Lower East Side, is that right?" she turned to Jasper.

"Yes," his voice was smooth; this one was definitely trouble as well. "We would love to see you there tonight, ladies. Please consider, you would make my night," he looked at Alice and smiled this heart-melting smile. Alice was a goner, Bella was sure. She sneaked a glance at the object of her desire. He wasn't looking. Her heart dropped a little. He was probably not even involved in this invitation, she thought. Jasper finally said his goodbye but not before leaving his card and ordering two glasses of champagne for Alice and Bella on him. Classy indeed.

"Do you wanna go?" Alice asked, suddenly seeming much less enamored than just a second ago.

"Do you?" Bella asked feigning disinterest.

" It could be fun. Those guys are definite players but," she sipped on her champagne, "a club opening sounds like a productive night. Those things usually mean a tight guest list, maybe even celebs. We could use it to our advantage and network. It's all about who you know in this city, remember…" she finished.

Bella was impressed with how cool and collected Alice was, her eyes on the prize at all times, even on a Friday night and not even handsome blonds with smooth voices and heart-melting smiles could sway her. She wished she could be so unfazed.

"Did he say anything else to you? Any more details?" Bella asked, sneaking a glance at that corner table. Still not looking, he looked pensive though, like he wasn't listening to his friends either.

"Not really. I think the one in the middle is the club owner but I'm not sure. Look, let's just stop by and if it's lame we'll just leave right away. We could go to this blues place you love so much right after we're done with it. Deal?"

"Sounds like a plan," Bella said trying to seem calm but inside she was buzzing, excited to be able to feed this obsession for a little longer. She was looking good tonight; she definitely didn't feel like a wallflower. Not that she was planning on approaching him, the thought made her stomach roll. He seemed too intimidating. But she could get some information… Who is he? His name, what's his background… Is he in a relationship? Married? She looked quickly – no ring. Is he the one who's opening this club tonight? So many questions…

They left while Bella and Alice were in the middle of their dessert, that ice-cream sundae Alice claimed she must have. The blond one, Jasper, said goodbye in his smooth honey voice, the other two didn't even acknowledge them. Bella was a little disappointed but still couldn't shake excitement that she will see him again tonight.


	3. In Bloom

Chapter 3

In Bloom

They arrived at the club sometime later. They took a stroll first, the weather was lovely, it was April and finally, it was getting warm. New York winters were brutal so the whole city was enjoying this warmth preferring a walk to a cab ride that night.

The line to the club seemed intimidating but their names magically turned out to be on the list, so without any hassle, they got in. The place was breathtaking. It was somehow connected to the hotel next door – you could pass from club to the hotel and from hotel to the club without a need to go outside, at least that's what she overheard. It had some sort of cabin in the woods design theme going on with lots of fireplaces, a lot of dark red color in fabrics used for furniture and curtains, dark redwood, and dark gold when it came to lighting. It looked very cozy but grandiose at the same time. It was several floors as well. Looked like 3, she thought, unless they have a basement level as well. The first floor was something that could possibly be called grand ballroom, the second floor was pretty much a balcony wrapping around the first floor with some more space in the back. They were escorted to the 3rd level right away. It looked like the most private level out of three, with another list person right in front of it. They were escorted pass that person as well. Somehow tonight they turned into super-duper-ultra VIP, she snickered to herself, or whatever they could be called now because all the doors were opening for them even before they thought of trying them. It was much less crowded on this floor; she also noticed stairs that lead to the rooftop. If she loved anything about New York nightlife it would be places with beautiful rooftops and views from those rooftops. She could spend hours there if ever needed, just enjoying the view and the peace of it. Her night just became somewhat less stressful – even if Alice ditched her for the night, which hopefully she is not going to, she would have her sanctuary.

Alice dragged her to the bar, they ordered two cocktails and started to look around.

"Ok, so the crowd is even fancier than I expected. I don't recognize any actors or film directors yet, but the night is young. Pay attention Bella," Alice said looking very serious.

"Alice, thanks for looking out for me but I don't want to be a film actress. I really love theatre plus the thought of fame that comes with screen acting really makes my skin crawl. I'm just gonna enjoy myself, going to check out that rooftop. Don't worry about me! Do your thing, find me later, I'll be just fine", said Bella and forced Alice to believe her holding her gaze. She didn't want to hold her friend back, ever, plus she had some observations to do. Really, Alice needed not to worry.

"You sure?" Alice asked, already seeming anxious to approach someone she saw out of the corner of her eye.

"Positive", Bella smiled, "go, build your empire, promise I'll get some free clothes one day", she giggled.

Alice laughed at that. "Of course! Now if you'll excuse me I see this socialite that I have a perfect dress for…" And she was off.

Bella looked at her disappearing form with affection. Alice inspired her with her determination. One day, she could swear, this girl would be next Donatella Versace. She was not kidding about building an empire comment. If someone had the potential to build an empire, that would be Alice.

Bella looked around. She couldn't see Him yet, nor his little click, but the space was so big, she was sure she'd see him eventually. She decided to check out that rooftop after all. She climbed the stairs and stepped out on a lovely terrace. It was absolutely breathtaking. The view was gorgeous; she could even see Empire State Building in the distance. There were many little decorative trees almost making space feel like a labyrinth she needs to follow through; she started to walk further, exploring the space, feeling like Alice in a Wonderland… When she finally turned around the corner this space opened up to her, with several couches and tables around the perimeter. Some people were smoking and talking by the railing, some people were enjoying bottle service at their tables. 3 tables were busy with fancy looking patrons; one was empty with little 'reserved' sign on top of it.

Bella headed towards the railing and leaned on it, sipping on her cocktail, thinking about how happy she was she moved to New York. The city was challenging and she knew the road ahead is going to be tough. But the feeling of finally being free overwhelmed her in a most positive way. She still felt guilty she disappointed her father. He hasn't even talked to her in months; he was giving her the silent treatment and that weighed down on her. He controlled her so masterfully her whole life, he was a chief of police and God forbid his child would ever be caught doing anything questionable, the shame! Her curfew was appropriate for a 7thgrader and remained the same until she graduated, she was barely allowed dating, not that she had anyone to really capture her attention. She wasn't even allowed sleepovers at her friend's Angela, her SAT score was supposed to be the best in the entire school – it was exhausting. It was almost like she was involuntarily chosen by her father as a role model on "how to raise the perfect citizen" mission that he seemed to be on. And god, she hated to be perfect… Well, _seem_ perfect because she didn't really believe she was perfect, not for a second.

She had all that fiery adventurous energy that was suppressed inside her whole life – she loved to paint, sing and she dreamt of acting since she was a teenager. Maybe it started as this desperate desire to be someone else at least for a little while… She signed. She would try to call her father again next week… She had a feeling he was trying to manipulate her through guilt to come back home, where she could be easily controlled again. That was not going to happen.

She was lost in her musings when someone's body appeared next to her on the right. Deep inside she already knew who that was. She didn't look yet but she felt his presence to her very bones. It was definitely Him. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. She looked up quickly. Of course, she was right. He was wearing a suit tonight. No tie. Designer but unkempt, she remembered how she described him to herself the first time she saw him. Quite accurate, she smiled briefly. She had a feeling he was looking at her and when she smiled he spoke.

"Enjoying your night?" he asked, his voice was deep and silky smooth. There was authority behind it, she had a feeling he could rule whole Manhattan.

"It is a beautiful club…" her mind was definitely failing her. She was so overwhelmed by him, there were 10 thousand things she could say wrong. She was starting to panic, praying for him not to notice.

He stayed quiet for a second but she had a feeling he was observing her. She didn't dare to look.

"How old are you?" he asked out of nowhere.

"Old enough to be here, no need to worry," her insecurities about looking and feeling like a child reared their ugly head. She cringed at how rude it must've come across. After all, they were the ones who put her and Alice on the list, they could be the ones to take them off it, she was sure. How embarrassing if she's going to get them both kicked out…

That made him chuckle.

"Good to know I'm not going to lose the license on the day of opening," he said.

"It is your club?" curiosity got the best of her.

"It is", he said. Nothing more. He was definitely not volunteering any information.

"What is your name?" she wanted the answer to that question for a while now.

He seemed surprised by her question like he assumed her to know who he was.

"Edward", he said.

"Edward," she repeated. "Do you have the last name, Edward? Or you go just by first? Like Madonna, or Cher…"

She saw a hint of a smile. He seemed to be testing her, she just couldn't understand what the test was about.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen" he finally said.

"Nice to meet you, Edward Cullen. I am Swan. Bella Swan" she reached out her hand, with a little smirk. How she was able to manage her heartbeat was a mystery. This man was having the weirdest effect on her.

The moment his hand took hers she felt a jolt of electricity coming through her. She felt it to her very toes. She took her hand back right away, looking down, trying to stop inevitable blush she knew was coming. Who blushes from a handshake, she kicked herself mentally. It sounds like something from a 19th-century novel. If only she had more experience dealing with boys…

He was still observing her. She had a feeling he must've felt something too. After a minute he stubbed his cigarette out.

"I'm afraid I must go, I need to check that everything goes smoothly tonight. Please enjoy your night, Bella. I will see you again" and with that, he left.

She stood there little shaken by such a sudden departure. She briefly looked at the tables and the one that was empty before now had his two friends lounging, observing the whole interaction. Jasper saluted his glass at her from afar and she automatically repeated the gesture.

He said he'd see her again. She was not so sure. It seemed like they lived in two different worlds. She stood there numbly, disappointed she couldn't hold his attention longer than 10 minutes. This man is definitely not for her, she decided, and she needs to squash this ridiculous obsession of hers. She put her glass down and headed downstairs.


	4. In Bloom Part 2

_**Author's Note:**_

I feel the need to warn you, it is going to be a slow burn:) No instant gratification in this story. Other than that, I hope you'll enjoy it.

Chapter 3 Part 2

In Bloom

She came back to the 3rd floor. Not being able to spot Alice she texted her a quick "where r u?" text and headed to the bar. Alice was not replying so she decided on a second drink. Just when she was paying for it Alice appeared in front of her.

"There you are! I was worried you left!"

"No-no," Bella chuckled, "still here. I wouldn't leave without telling you. Did you have a productive time?"

"You have no idea! I have a full purse of business cards!"

She went on telling Bella about all the people she met, couple creative collaborations that could possibly come out of it. Bella was really trying to follow but she couldn't help scanning the crowd every couple of minutes. She was really annoyed with herself. Didn't she just decide to drop this obsession of hers? She made a decision, right there on the rooftop. Very logical decision. And still, she couldn't help but hope to see him again. She signed trying to refocus herself on Alice's story.

"… and then I saw Jasper, the guy that invited us. He seemed to be interested where you were. I told him to try the rooftop. Did you see him?" she asked.

Bella choked on her drink. She recovered from her shock quickly. How weird. He saw her up there but he didn't come up to talk to her. Why would he be looking for her?

She got herself together. "I saw him…" she said. She couldn't even elaborate, she was so confused. She was not ready to bring up Edward yet. After all, he was the one she talked to.

"Well, anyway, in the restaurant it seems like he was flirting with me but maybe it was you he was after. You should go for it. He seems like trouble but your personal life is in desperate need of some excitement," she said with a pointed look. Alice was grilling her about dating more for months now.

"I don't think he's my type," Bella said lamely… His friend is another story though, she added in her head.

"No one is your ever type," Alice huffed. "One day I'll sit you down and make you write a list of qualities of that mysterious type of yours. So at least I know what to look out for," she finished dramatically.

"Ok, ok," Bella wanted to be done with this topic. She's not going to write any lists. She didn't believe love works like that…

"Ok, now I think it's time to enjoy ourselves. No networking anymore I promise!" Alice looked around, "I say let's go check out that ballroom floor, time for some dancing, their music choices have been amazing all night!" she started dragging Bella downstairs.

As long as they're not going to talk about her non-existent love life anymore, she thought. She'll take dancing over that particular torture.

She's been taking dance classes as a part of her acting training for months now. At first, she was terrified that she's going to be the worst klutz in the group but turned out she was pretty decent. And now, months later, she actually started to really enjoy dancing. She wasn't afraid anymore. She just let the music take over, leading her and it felt amazing. Just another little achievement, she smiled to herself. Not hiding and not being afraid was her new motto.

They came downstairs, got a table for themselves, left their coats and hid their purses behind the couch and went to the dance floor. Alice was right about music choices. Whoever was curating music in this venue had a very sophisticated taste; the next song always seemed even better than the previous one, which made it really hard to leave the dance floor. They went to the bar a couple of times for another drink and some water but then another amazing song would start playing and they would find themselves on the dance floor again. She couldn't remember last time she had so much fun. She was really enjoying herself. She even managed not to think about mysterious Edward Cullen that much.

What felt like hours later she started noticing music slowing down in tempo. Slower songs were being played now which meant the night was almost over, she sighed. Just couple more songs, she thought to herself, she really didn't want this night to end.

Out of nowhere, Jasper appeared in front of her.

"May I?" he said, pretty much asking her to dance with him.

She didn't really understand, information that he was asking of her before came back to the surface. She cautiously gave him her hand.

They started slow dancing and it was weird. She made a point of maintaining a respectable distance between them. If Alice was right, she didn't want to lead him on. She was serious when she said he's not her type.

"Looks like you had a good night. Quite the dancing queens you two. Maybe we should put you on a payroll as our go-go dancers", he said. He was looking at her like he was trying to figure something out.

"We had a lovely night, thank you for inviting us," she said politely. Suddenly she felt like she was being watched. And not only by Jasper's calculating eyes.

"I put you and Alice on our permanent list. You can come anytime", he said still looking for something in her expression.

She couldn't quite understand what he was looking for. There was some agenda behind his words; she knew that much, but what it was… she couldn't figure out.

"Edward seemed to take a liking of you," he said looking for a reaction.

"He did?" she asked not giving anything away. Inside her heart definitely started to beat faster.

"Mm-hm," he nodded. "You're not from New York, are you?" he continued.

"No, I'm not", she was starting to feel insecure. What is he hinting at?

"And you're not much of a party girl," that was not a question.

"How do you know?" she couldn't hold her curiosity back. He was talking in riddles. She didn't understand.

"How do I know?" he smiled, "I just know. Call it experience. You seem sweet. Pure…" he chuckled, "even if there's no such thing, not in this city anyway."

"I'm not sure what you mean…" she was truly lost at this point plus it felt like someone was burning a hole in her back.

"I'm not supposed to do that but I feel like a good Samaritan today", he said. "I feel like it's only fair to warn you. You look like a romantic type… And he is not that" he said forcing her to pay attention with a pointed look, "He will never be that". He expected her to say something but she stayed silent so he continued, "go for it if you want, just don't expect anything back."

There was finality in his voice. There would be no more explanations, she could feel it. And still, she was very confused. She opened her mouth to say something but he didn't let her. The conversation was over.

"It is my pleasure to make sure you and Alice get home safe. I have a car waiting for you outside anytime you're ready. And then again, maybe it's only for Alice", he laughed. "Good night, sweet Bella", and with that, he walked away.

She stood in the middle of the dance floor completely dumbstruck, watching Jasper's disappearing form in the crowd. The club was slowly dying down but there were still a fair amount of couples on the dance floor. What did just happened?

"Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby" by Cigarettes After Sex started playing adding to the surrealism of it all. "Did he just imply that I'm going to sleep with Edward tonight," she thought, "we barely exchanged several words, it makes no sense". Edward didn't show any signs of liking her tonight. He barely lasted the duration of a cigarette in her company, she thought bitterly. Jasper was surely mistaking. She was so confused she didn't even notice someone approaching her.

She felt his hand on her waist first. From the jolt that went through her, she knew it was Him without even looking. He turned her around. She couldn't believe he found her. Did he want her company? She was so confused…

"Dance with me?" his voice was so deep and low, hypnotizing. He extended his hand and waited patiently. Her heartbeat went haywire. She took his hand.

The moment she looked in his eyes she was drowning again, something about the way he was looking at her… Suddenly it felt like they were the only two people on the dance floor, the rest of the world seized to exist…

They started dancing; his hands guided hers around his neck and landed on her waist. His left hand didn't linger and after a minute started to explore her body. Every touch of his resonated through her entire body, his hand sliding up her back and then around, grazing the side of her ribs with his fingers, dangerously close to her breast. The other hand that calmly rested on her waist started to apply pressure to bring her closer. She didn't resist, she could barely think straight it felt so good – she couldn't even begin to catalog all the feelings that he was evoking. His left hand somehow ended around her neck. Her body adjusted to this position without her even noticing it – her right hand somehow ended up around his back. "Is he going to kiss me?" a brief thought appeared in her head. Before she could ponder it, he spun her around her and hugged her from the back. Every inch of her body was aligned with his and she felt like she was flying. His hands continued the exploration; his left hand ended up on her belly. The sensation was new to her and scary in its intensity. She heard people call it butterflies… It didn't feel like butterflies to her – it felt like fire, small at first but more consuming with every second. Her breathing was becoming shallower and her heartbeat was hammering inside. His right hand was tilting her neck now, she felt his lips by her ear and closed her eyes. Her body was surrendering but it felt too good to stop.

"Spend a night with me," he said lowly before biting gently on her earlobe.

"What?" she felt like she was drunk even though she barely drank in the last couple of hours; her voice sounded so far away to her own ears.

"You know you want to," he said slowly sliding his lips down her neck.

"I…" she couldn't focus, so much sensory overload. He didn't let her finish even though she didn't know what to say.

" _I_ know you want to…" he continued his slow seduction.

"How…" she could barely put words in a sentence. They were just floating around in her head absolutely denying to be organized in any coherent way…

He slowly spun her around so he was facing her again. He looked in her eyes for a moment before pulling her closer and going back for her neck. He breathed her in before whispering:

"Well, don't you?"

She shivered. He pulled back to see the answer in her eyes. Her eyes gave her away even before her speech could.

"Yes… but," she whispered.

"What?" he asked softly.

"I don't even know you," she tried to argue…

"So?" he dismissed it, "I promise you will enjoy yourself," with that he spun her around.

She was losing all control of the situation. The promise of being alone with him overwhelmed her senses. She didn't know if she could handle it, she didn't know if she's strong enough to resist, she never felt this way before… Jasper's warnings made so much more sense now. Edward was a master of seduction; she could tell that much, and she was desperately out of her depth. Her inexperience was definitely playing against her. Edward was looming in her head for months just after simply seeing him from afar; she couldn't imagine getting on with her day tomorrow as if nothing happened after having sex with him. She wouldn't be able to do it; she knew that for sure.

"For how long?" her fear made itself known and she cringed internally. She wanted to seem confident and unaffected but she had a feeling she was not succeeding.

"It doesn't matter," he brushed it off. He found a sensitive spot on her neck and started nipping on it gently. "Don't you want to live in the moment? Forget about tomorrow – just feel. I know you want it. I can feel your heartbeat…"

Busted, she thought. If only she could control her heartbeat. He was much more perceptive than she was giving him credit for. He read her so well it scared her. He was using all the right words. Her whole life she wasn't allowed to "live in the moment" too afraid of consequences… How did he know that?

"I live in a penthouse," he continued, "hotel next door. Come" he looked her in the eyes and took her hand in his. He was ready to start walking, leading her with him when the words escaped her –

"I don't think I can…"

"What?" he was getting impatient.

"To not care about tomorrow", she whispered looking down. She didn't like to admit her weaknesses but it was true and she had to say it.

She noticed he was getting irritated like he was not used to things not going his way.

"Oh come on," he said. Indeed, he was getting exasperated. She was surprised by the sudden change.

"Your innocent act is very seductive, I admit. But don't you think it's time to drop it?" he continued.

Bella felt like a bucket of cold water was just poured on her. She couldn't believe it.

"Maybe it's not an act," she said finding some anger to operate on. She couldn't believe that's what he thought of her.

"Of course not," he smirked. "And you don't know who I am either," disbelief obvious in his voice. He was sure he was correct in his assumptions.

"I don't," she said coldly. Finally, she was out of his spell. She almost felt thankful for it, if only it didn't hurt… She got herself together quickly "I'm afraid it's time for me to go. Thank you very much for inviting us. We had a wonderful night". She couldn't believe how strong she sounded. She almost sounded like her father, cold politeness and authority behind every word.

She started to walk towards their table without looking back. Alice was sitting with Jasper, observing the whole thing with a worried expression.

"Jasper, is that car you mentioned before still outside?" she said politely but her voice was crispy cold.

"Yes, of course," he seemed a little lost himself, probably not expecting situation turning out this way in a matter of seconds.

"We will take it, thank you very much. It's time for us to go home. Is that ok with you, Alice?" she turned to her friend.

"Uh, yes… um, definitely" Alice stuttered but grabbed their purses and coats right away. "All ready, it's almost 4 anyway," she put her coat on quickly, so as Bella. "Thank you, Jasper, it's very nice of you", she thanked him for the car.

And with that, they were off. Bella didn't look back, not even once.


	5. Each Time Falling Deeper

Chapter 4

Each Time Falling Deeper

The ride back home was made in silence. Alice kept throwing her worried looks but Bella just ignored it and looked out the window the whole time. There were so many emotions coursing through her. The most obvious one – anger. Surprisingly, mostly at herself. She couldn't believe she pretty much melted in his arms on that dance floor. It didn't take him much to turn her to a puddle of goo and that was embarrassing. Did she have no self-control? She probably came across as a complete floozy. No wonder he was ready to drag her to his penthouse. "Hotel next door", she huffed, "who in the world lives in a hotel?" She couldn't imagine a hotel room having a homey vibe, even if you live there for a while. Next – him. He bothered her. "What an arrogant ass," she thought, "what size of an ego you need to have to assume that every person you meet suppose to know who you are!" She truly had no idea who the heck he is and she didn't want to know. She didn't! She didn't, she didn't, she didn't, she chanted to herself. And still, she had a feeling her curiosity will get the best of her at some point… She'll fight it with a passion though, she decided.

Another emotion that was nagging in the background was a good old feeling of being "not good enough"… He was not interested in her in any long-term way, he hinted at that with no promises of tomorrow, and somehow that thought really upset her; she felt it must be something about her that makes her only good enough to catch his attention for one night, no longer than that. What a bitter thought…

When they arrived home she went straight to her room. She will have to explain herself to Alice tomorrow. She could sense that Alice was worried because that kind of behavior was pretty much out of character for Bella. Still, she couldn't deal with explaining any of tonight's events right now.

10 minutes later she was in her favorite pajamas in her bed falling into a fitful sleep. She was tossing and turning for hours. She dreamt of that dance floor, feeling his body next to her, taking him in, exploring his body with her hands, his lips on her neck, her body humming with pleasure, her eyes closing… When she opened her eyes again he was gone – she was alone on the dance floor, alone in the whole club, only Jasper's laughter fading in the distance. She woke up with a start, feeling exhausted. Her subconscious was the biggest traitor.

She cautiously came to the kitchen to make herself breakfast but Alice beat her to it. The table was pretty much served and Alice was finishing making an omelette. Bella poured herself a coffee and sat down. She knew interrogation was coming.

"Did you sleep well?" Alice asked.

"I did", Bella said looking down at her coffee escaping Alice's penetrating gaze.

"Liar. You look like you barely slept at all," she waited for Bella to elaborate but she stayed quiet. "Are you going to tell me?" Alice looked at her expectantly.

"About what?" she asked suddenly very interested in that bamboo plant in the corner.

"Bella, just please tell me what's going on? I'm worried! I leave you alone for one second and then find you on the dance floor being devoured by the club owner!" she was on the roll now, "You know, I'm the one who always tells you to have fun but Bella, I don't think He is a good candidate for fun. I heard things about him last night. He's quite notorious and he's not a good guy…" she trailed off.

"What have you heard?" she asked before she could stop herself. So much for not wanting to know more about him…

"Well, as far as I heard his family is filthy rich, he's a notorious bad boy of Upper East Side but I'm not talking bad boy like in some "teen movie" romantic sense. I'm talking drugs, gambling, arrests, and the list goes on and on…" she looked at Bella carefully, "look, I know you must've liked him, I've never seen you looking like that at anyone before, but… with that background, that lifestyle, some people get jaded. Promise me you're not gonna do anything!" she finished with pleading eyes.

Drugs? Arrests? Her father would have a heart attack. She quickly refocused on Alice.

"I promise," she looked at her with all seriousness. That was an easy promise. Plus there's no way she'll see him again anyway. She was not planning to stalk him and he probably moved on that night on a more willing candidate to spend a night with. There was nothing to worry about. Her promise seemed to console Alice so she moved onto more pleasant topics of conversation. Bella finally relaxed that interrogation was over and the morning continued in a usual way.

She quickly got ready for work; she was working part-time as an assistant bartender in a cute Italian restaurant mostly making drinks that waiters rang for their tables. The tips were good so she couldn't complain. It was hard to combine it with school but her father cut her off a long time ago, a couple months after she moved, so she didn't have much of a choice. It was a family business type of restaurant, the owner was cordial to her and the shifts were only 6 hours long, which was great. She heard horror stories of owners who were making their employees work 12 hours straight every day so she definitely lucked out. The shift was super busy that day which was a pleasant distraction since her mind didn't have time to obsess about Edward Cullen. She was working a lunch shift today so she was done at 6 pm and headed home.

There was this cute coffee shop next door to their apartment building. They had divine hot chocolate, she was pretty sure they were actually melting real good quality dark chocolate, it was so delicious. It became her routine to treat herself to a cup after a busy work shift. So as every other Saturday she went in and got in line. Her mind was still on Edward Cullen… Should she google him? She shook off that thought. She really needs to work on her self-control when it comes to that guy. Suddenly, she heard a voice:

"Good evening Bella," it was Jasper, he was standing in line just behind her. "Funny to run into you," he smiled, his eyes always calculating.

"Good evening," was all she could squeeze out. What is he doing here? Is it a coincidence? How weird…

"I love this coffee shop," he seemed to read her thoughts. Somehow that still sounded fake. "Any plans for tonight?" he asked.

"Not sure yet…" she said. "You?" she asked out of politeness.

"The usual," he brushed it off like it was not the topic he was interested in. "Edward wanted to apologize to you, for last night. He is inviting you to the club tonight," he finished.

She took her time to collect her thoughts, she didn't expect this…

"If Edward wants to apologize he can do so himself," she replied slowly. She started to have a feeling that Jasper was his some sort of a "fix-it" man – how convenient never have to deal with consequences of your actions, she thought. Someone else will do it for you.

"Umm… that's not how it works," he got lost for a second. "He is really busy that's why he sent me," he finished seeming to find the right words.

"I see…" she took a deep breath, "please tell Edward that I am not…" she wasn't sure how to put it, "I don't need his apology. No harm done. He can let it go."

It was her turn now so she ordered her hot chocolate and took her time paying for it to get her wits together. She had a feeling this conversation was not over but she really didn't know what else is there to say.

"So you will come tonight then?" Jasper continued sounding little annoyed that she was resisting.

"No, I can't, sorry," she said. Deep inside she was getting annoyed as well. Edward seemed more and more like a spoiled brat. She took some enjoyment introducing the word "no" to his vocabulary.

"Why?"

He just couldn't let it go, she thought.

"I have plans," she said.

"I thought you were "not sure" about your plans," he followed her while she was picking up her drink.

"I am now," she smiled a polite cold smile, "have a good night Jasper".

She walked out of the coffee shop and went straight into her building. She didn't want to keep going in circles with him. In all honesty, she was somewhat embarrassed to see Edward again. Her behavior last night was so… out of character, so wanton. Every time she'd think about last night she would cringe. She couldn't believe how easy she was. A guy barely talks to her for 10 minutes tops and next thing she melts on that dance floor under his touch…

And even that aside… If he really wanted to apologize, if he was truly sincerely sorry he offended her, if somehow he cared about what happened between them… He should've apologized in person. She meant it when she said it to Jasper. The moment they shared was intimate, at least for her. It rubbed her the wrong way knowing that, what looked like his personal assistant was aware of whatever it is that went down between them.

She decided to convince Alice to have a Netflix night instead and stay in. To her surprise, Alice agreed right away, not even trying to force her to go out like she usually does. They decided on "Pride and Prejudice" 2005 version and some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. It actually turned out to be a lovely night.

She picked up an extra shift on Sunday, so she had a double, which was also a positive thing because she didn't have any time for thoughts of Edward Cullen and by the time she got home she was so exhausted she passed out in a matter of seconds. Thankfully, she didn't see any dreams that night.

Monday she woke up in a much better mood. She finally had a great night sleep. She took extra time with her hair and makeup getting ready for school; she decided not to wear a ponytail today so she arranged her hair cascading down in waves. She also decided to wear this new skirt Alice got her at some promo sale, one of her favorite tops that looked really good on her and hugged her body nicely, her tall boots with a decent size heel and her favorite trench coat. She felt like she walked off the screen of "Devil Wears Prada" movie or something. She smiled at her own reflection in the mirror.

She had 2 classes today and she was done around 2 pm. She was walking out of the building with a couple of her classmates, laughing about an improvisation class they just had. They were all hugging saying goodbye to each other now. When she turned to go to her subway line she stopped, shocked. There, standing lazily, leaning on a black car with the driver inside was Him. Edward Cullen. Smoking, looking sexy in a black suit, no tie, couple buttons on his shirt undone, with that disheveled hair that seemed impossible to tame. He looked at her from under his lashes, penetrating her with his gaze.

Her heart started hammering inside her chest. He looked way too handsome; no man should look like that. But the intensity with which he was looking at her was the real problem. She was fighting to control her senses but again was feeling like he's taking away all her control.

He kept looking at her and she kept just standing there, no one was making the first move. Finally, he moved. She thought he will come up to her but instead, he opened the passenger door of the car and looked expectantly at her.

"Where does he...? What? Should I go?" the thoughts were rushing through her brain. She didn't know what to do…


	6. Beautiful Mess

Chapter 5

Beautiful Mess

 _He kept looking at her and she kept just standing there, no one was making the first move. Finally, he moved. She thought he will come up to her but instead, he opened the passenger door of the car and looked expectantly at her._

 _"Where does he...? What? Should I go?" the thoughts were rushing through her brain. She didn't know what to do…_

At first, she just couldn't move. He wanted her to come with him? Where? He really caught her by surprise. After what felt like forever, she started walking towards the car. He expected her to just get in but she didn't, she stopped next to him and just stood there, looking at him, trying to figure him out. It seemed like he was trying to do the same. She realized, that even if her treacherous body wanted to be close to him, for the life of her she just couldn't get into that car. She needed something from him first; maybe she did want that apology after all…

He remained silent just willing her to get into the car with his gaze. The energy around them was crackling with electricity. Her body was still reacting to him in the weirdest way; his eyes so black they seemed bottomless. She didn't know where she found the strength to keep her ground. The situation was turning into a weird power struggle and the moment she realized that she felt a little stronger. She does have some power of her own. She tilted her head looking at him in an expectant manner.

He read the situation correctly. If he wants her company he needs to start talking now.

"I apologize," the words sounded so foreign like he hasn't used them before. "I didn't mean to offend you," he continued slightly fidgeting under her gaze.

She stayed silent.

"I would like to make it up to you. Lunch?" he asked for the first time seeming less confident than usual. "Or I could just drop you off at home…"

She could tell he didn't like the second option at all. She supposed she was a little hungry…

"Lunch," she said carefully with a little nod.

His perfect manners kicked in and he offered her his hand to get into the car. She took it, a familiar jolt of electricity running through her again. She had a second to calm her breathing while he was claiming his seat from the other side of the car.

"You didn't come on Saturday," he said after instructing the driver with directions. It seemed like an observation. Was he upset about it? She couldn't tell – his voice didn't give anything away.

"I didn't," she said softly. She had a feeling he was waiting for her to elaborate. Her heartbeat was so loud in her ears and she was avoiding his gaze. His effect on her was really starting to annoy her.

"Why?" he finally asked when he realized she's not going to explain.

He was looking at her analyzing her every move. She glanced at him for a second and fidgeted in her seat. She didn't know how to explain all those emotions that were overwhelming her since Friday night so she just looked out the window avoiding the question.

The rest of the trip was made in silence. She had a feeling he was observing her the whole time but she barely looked in his direction. The ride was pretty short but it gave her enough time to get used to his presence next to her and to collect her scattered emotions. Even her heartbeat seemed to calm down a little.

He opened the car door for her and escorted her inside this cute little French restaurant in West Village. The table in the back was ready for them and after they were settled he spoke:

"You are very intriguing Bella," he took a second to think over what he wanted to say next, "I don't know what to think…" he somehow seemed off his game.

"How did you know where I was?" she asked gently. She couldn't believe he went out of his way to find her… Could it be… Did he like her? She doubted that his guilty conscience alone brought him to her school today.

"I have my ways," was all he said.

She wanted to know more… His voice was so deep, beautiful, she thought. The atmosphere was very intimate; the tables around them weren't occupied. The weather was getting warmer and most people opted for tables outside.

"Jasper? Is he your assistant or something?" she was truly curious.

"Or something," he said with a small smile.

She decided to pay attention to the menu and finally order something, he was not very forthcoming and she needed to figure out her next step. She wanted to know more about him. After she made her order she tried again.

"Why did you want to see me? In the club, I mean, on Saturday?" she stuttered through her question. She was nervous and it was showing. Damn.

He observed her for a minute but didn't say anything. He didn't want to answer, she could tell. She fidgeted in her seat. Her newfound confidence was fading by the second…

"How long you've been in New York?" he finally asked.

"About 9 months, I think. I moved last August," she said. She didn't really like to talk about herself. She would much prefer to talk about him. There were so many things she wanted to find out…

"Why did you move?" he asked again. He was watching her carefully, observing her every reaction. Nothing went unnoticed.

"Why did I move?" she repeated softly. She was trying to win time to formulate an answer. It was not a simple question, not a question she could answer in a couple of words anyway. Because I was unhappy? Because my father controlled my every move? Because I felt like I couldn't breathe? None of those short answers seemed appropriate but she really didn't want to get into any details…

"New start," she said vaguely. She could tell he was unsatisfied with that answer but their food arrived and that served as a distraction. When the waiter left, she jumped at the opportunity with the first question that came to mind. She really wanted to change that topic.

"How old are you?" she decided to ask. She was wondering about that for a while.

"Twenty-five," he said, " and you?"

She could tell he really wanted to know.

"Twenty-one."

He seemed satisfied with that answer. Did she really look like a minor? She hoped she didn't… She sat a little taller.

"Where are you from?" he asked.

"Small town in Washington… You?" she asked right back. She didn't want to be tricked into another 'why did you leave Washington' conversation.

"Here," he replied.

Of course, she thought. He had that aura of arrogance and privilege about him. Usually, those things were a turn-off… She was annoyed that everything about him seemed attractive to her. Even the things she would normally find repulsive.

"Your parents? Both in Washington?" he asked.

Parents… She sighed. It was her least favorite topic.

She was splitting her attention between him, a beautiful table flower and her plate. It was hard to look at him longer than a few moments – his gaze was so heavy, penetrating. He was looking at her like she was some sophisticated puzzle he needed to figure out.

"My father is in Washington, yes. He's a chief of police," she said slowly.

Chief of police detail definitely got a reaction but he masked it right away.

"And your mother?" he continued.

Bella became fidgety again. She would really prefer to avoid that topic… After a slight pause, she took a deep breath.

"I don't know," she finally said looking down at the pretty little table flower to avoid looking at him.

When the silence became too long for her to handle she sneaked a glance at him. She felt vulnerable; talking about her mother was always a raw experience. She avoided it at all costs. He was looking at her with this expression… she couldn't name it.

"What do you mean?" he finally asked. His voice was very soft like he was afraid to spook her and never find out the answer…

She closed her eyes for a second. There was a fight within her, she never really told anybody, not a true story anyway… Could she share it with him? _Should_ she share it with him? Her heartbeat started to speed up to a point when it felt like her heart just might jump out of her chest. For some reason she couldn't begin to understand, on some instinctive level she felt it was safe to share this.

"She left me when I was 7," she said slowly. For the life of her, she couldn't look at him so she stared at the little flower. "I don't remember much of her anymore… Just little bits and pieces. She was visiting from time to time. Calling, you know, on Birthdays and such…" This was harder than she thought but she pushed forward. "The calls became less frequent with every year. She might have a new family now, I'm not sure…" she trailed off. That was the most talking about her mother she's done in years.

She was afraid to look in his eyes but when she finally did the moment stole her breath… The way he looked at her… Sadness, understanding, sympathy.

He somehow understood her pain on some level she couldn't yet decipher. She could see his eyes reflecting all the emotions she was feeling right back at her. "Did he also have dysfunction in his family?" she wondered.

"When was the last time she called?" he asked looking down. She could tell he didn't want to push but she struck a chord with him.

"I was thirteen," she said, trying not to sound sad.

She couldn't believe she told him. Very few people knew… Now he was one of them. How did he manage to pass all her carefully constructed walls? She was looking down, trying to gain back her footing. She felt exposed. She started to do a breathing exercise she was taught many years ago… Breath on 4, hold on 4, breath out on 4, hold on 4, repeat… It always seems to help her when she was getting anxious; she mastered it over the years so no one could tell she was doing it.

Suddenly she felt his hand reaching out to cover hers. It was such a sweet gesture. His touch felt so nice – tingly, her mind might be upset but her body had a mind of her own in relation to him. He was being very gentle with her; she allowed a tiny smile. Somehow his touch did comfort her a little.

" I understand," he said and the intensity in his voice made her look him in the eyes right then. "Believe me, I know," he said looking down.

She did believe him. She saw it in his eyes. They got each other on some subliminal level. Somehow, she felt lighter. Maybe she needed to let it out if just for a moment. That topic was suppressed within for many years.

He felt the need to change the direction of the conversation to something less heavy and she was grateful for the change. She revealed much more than she ever expected today, and she couldn't imagine sharing anymore. He answered most of her questions probably to restore this emotional balance between them. She could tell he wasn't a big fan of talking about himself either but he went with it… She guessed that was his way of showing he really appreciated that she shared something so personal with him. She found out that he also is a college dropout. Yale. Of course, she smiled. That fits. She definitely assumed that if he ever went to college it would be Ivy League. She also found out that he owned a lounge, a speak-easy and a music venue in the past. Music venue, that picked up her interest. She wondered if their music tastes could be similar. She also found out that he got out of all those businesses with profit. He never owned anything as big as the new club though… She could feel the pressure looming over him when he was talking about his new venue. He was trying to mask it but he cared, she could tell. He wanted his club to do good. With his family financial situation she was sure it was not about the money for him. He never brought up his family though. She just guessed. Could there be resentment there? She was not sure. But it looked like he was trying to prove someone wrong with opening such a big venue on his own. Maybe his parents?

She felt like she couldn't get enough of him. With every answer to her question, she would get 10 more questions in her head but she didn't push it. She will try later when the moment is right, she thought.

When their lunch was over he insisted on taking her home. She didn't argue, she wanted to prolong being in his company. She was full of this nervous energy – was it a date? Probably not, it was just an "apology lunch", she sighed. Would there be a date? Will she see him again? Is he going to ask for her phone number? She really wanted to have some means of contact with him. Jasper as a means of contact definitely wasn't her first choice. She was hoping she didn't come off too eager with all her questions… What if he will not ask to see her again? Should she ask for his phone number? It is highly unlikely she'll be able to do that…

With all those thoughts rushing through her mind she didn't notice that they arrived at her apartment building. She wasn't sure what to do from here… Should she just thank him, say goodbye and step out? Or wait for something? He answered to those questions with his actions. He stepped out of the car and went around to open the door for her. His perfect manners again, she smiled. She never met a man with such perfect manners. He opened the door and reached out his hand to help her out. Looked like he was going to walk her to the door. That thought sped up her heartbeat a lot. Maybe it was a date? Maybe he will try to kiss her? That thought overwhelmed her whole body. She willed herself to calm down.

They got to the door. This was goodbye. He looked at her, his expression unreadable. Her heart was pounding, so loud in her ears. His eyes slowly went from her eyes to her lips, to her neck down her body. It almost felt like he was memorizing her – her face, her body in detail. He took his time and then his eyes went back to hers. He looked her in the eyes and it seemed like he was trying to find an answer to some question. It seemed to be of dire importance…

"What?" she asked softly. 'Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me,' she chanted inside.

It felt like he was looking deeply into her soul. She was afraid to breathe to disturb this moment…

"Nothing," he finally said.

He started to get closer and now she was sure he's going to kiss her. She closed her eyes and held her breath, the moment felt magical. And then, at the very last second, she felt his lips sliding against her cheek instead.

She opened her eyes when he pulled back, trying to hide disappointment she felt.

"Goodbye, sweet Bella," he said finally taking his eyes off her and looking down.

"Goodbye," she whispered.

She couldn't believe it. That was it – she will not see him again! He doesn't want to see her again… She looked down trying to hide the fact that her eyes were tearing up. He was walking away now and she focused on finding the keys in her school bag. She couldn't believe she misread the situation so much! She thought they connected today… Really connected. The connection they shared was fragile but it was there… It was emotional and intimate. She even told him about her mom… How naïve of her to think she could be special to someone, to him, like he seemed to feel special to her? The feeling of rejection was overwhelming. She could feel those treacherous tears coming to the surface, making themselves known. Where are those keys?!

Suddenly, she heard his voice.

"Bella?" he was somewhere by his car but she couldn't look yet.

"Yes?" she willed her voice to sound normal but pretended to still be looking for her keys. She needed a moment to tame those tears that were approaching; she couldn't look at him yet.

"What are you doing Tuesday night?" he asked hesitantly.

Tuesday night? She was blinking rapidly to get rid of that tearing up problem. Did he…? Is there a chance he wants to see her again? She was afraid to hope.

"Nothing," she said and finally looked at him. "Why?"

"We have this private theme event in the club. It should be good… Would you like to come?" he continued sounding not sure.

"What theme?" she was trying to win time to get her emotions in check and attempt to sound like she doesn't care that much…

"It's a masked ball. I know it's a short notice…" he trailed off.

"We'll come," she said quickly. She automatically included Alice but there was no way she would show up on her own. She needs Alice there.

"Good," he said somehow seeming in a slightly better mood. "I'll make sure you and your friend are on the list" he finished. "See you soon," he gave her a little smile and got in the car.

After the car drove away she almost squealed from excitement. She finally got her keys and run up the stairs to her and Alice's apartment. She felt like she could fly. He wanted to see her again! Masked ball! How exciting! How he managed to get from tears to feeling euphoric in less than a minute was astonishing. She will need Alice to dress her… She wanted to impress him, she wanted to be the only thing on his mind like he was on hers. Seduction. She had zero experience with that. "Breathe, Bella," she told herself, " you'll figure it out".

 _ **Author's Note:**_

I feel the need to acknowledge the song "Beautiful Mess" by Kristian Kostov. It got me on and off through writing this chapter which was somewhat a challenge. True love is untouchable indeed... Hope you enjoyed it:)


	7. Keep It Hidden

Chapter 6 Part 1

Keep It Hidden

She spent the rest of the day anxiously waiting for Alice to come home, dealing with her school assignments and then deciding on cooking dinner in the meantime. Alice would be the key figure in this operation… First of all, Alice has to go with her. No way around it, there was no way she will go to that club alone. It was a weeknight though so that was somewhat a problem… Alice was always excited to go out and have fun during the weekends but school nights – not so much. She was too dedicated to her studies, so serious about her school projects that if you didn't know her you could accidentally take her for a CEO of some small trendy fashion brand. Some convincing might be in order and that means she will have to come up with an argument. That's where the problem number two lies. Alice was not supportive of Bella making any connection with Edward Cullen. So there could be no "I have to see Edward Cullen and make him fall in love with me" argument. She even warned her against it. Warned her… Bella stopped in the middle of her room. In all her musings and excitement to see him again, she absolutely forgot about those warnings. She didn't even ask one question about it during their lunch… Arrests? What kind of arrests? Surely nothing too crazy… Gambling? How much did he gamble away? Or was he hosting some underground casinos? There was something else Alice said, she couldn't remember. She then realized how much of a goner she was – she was aware of those things, red flags for sure, but her mind was going blank on those when she was around him. And even now, with those things back on the forefront of her mind she knew she would go and see him again anyway. She couldn't let him go just yet.

She decided to use the "masked ball" angle. It's not a common thing to be invited to; she's never been to one… That might work with Alice – she might get excited. Plus, supposedly it was a private event so Alice might be able to perfect her networking skills again, Bella thought. She'd try not to mention Edward but if Alice asks she would have to tell. Lying to Alice to support her little obsession was not something Bella wanted to do.

Alice still wasn't home, she always had some extra projects on the side, and so to pass the time Bella managed to learn all her lines for the new scene she was assigned in her acting class, finish the paper that was due on Friday; she then cooked a lovely dinner and even baked cookies and when she felt like she just might go crazy from all the waiting Alice finally came home.

"Oh my god, this smells amazing!" Alice exclaimed the moment she walked in. "Are we celebrating something?" she asked excitedly.

"Not really, I'm just in a really good mood," Bella said with a smile. She needed a perfect moment to bring that masked ball up. Timing had to be just right.

"Good mood, huh?" Alice said curiously trying to get Bella to elaborate. When she realized she's not going to explain she decided to move on. "You won't believe the day I had!"

Bella was all too happy to follow that topic of conversation for a while and so they chatted light-heartedly about school and work throughout their dinner. By the time they got to those cookies, she decided it is the time to bring this thing up. She took a deep breath, here we go…

She did her little prepared speech about this exciting invite she got, how she's never been to a masked ball in her entire life and how she is dying to go but her only problem is that she has nothing to wear, and well, she can not go alone. It was quite a monologue she performed. Alice was on the verge, she could tell. It looked like she wanted to go…

"Where is this thing anyway?" Alice asked after the news of their new possible adventure settled in.

Their dinner was over and Bella was washing the dishes. She stopped midway through washing her plate and after a second continued. She knew this question would come up at some point. She made sure her voice didn't give anything away.

"It's this club we've been to on Friday", she said in an even tone. "What was it called again?"

Alice was silent for a second.

"I believe it was called Eclipse," Alice said carefully. "And how did you get invited to that thing?"

Oh god…

"Why? You think you're the only one who can network and get invited to things? I meet people too, you know," Bella said praying Alice wouldn't pry. She was in an attack mode but she'd do just about anything to avoid bringing Edward up because she had a feeling Alice might back out.

"Of course you do. I didn't mean it like that!"

Bella didn't let her continue.

"I just really need your help, this is so exciting but there's no way I can pull it off without you. You always grill me for not going out enough and this is the most exciting event I've ever been invited to! For the first time ever I'm really dying to go, please Alice I need you there," she was a second away from full on begging when Alice stopped her.

"Ok, ok! You got me on board! Don't get so hyper – I was excited to go the moment you mentioned that it's a masked ball! Those things are beautiful! What should we wear…" Alice said more to herself, already in her 'designer' mode and sauntered off to her closet. Bella breathed out, she could finally relax now. She got her.

The rest of the evening Alice spent planning their outfits and creating their masks. Bella tried to help but after a couple of not so successful attempts Alice sent her away not to mess with the creative process. Bella took a hint and after a while, she was back in her room, on the inside window ledge with a cup of hot chocolate consumed with this new infatuation of hers all over again. Edward Cullen.

It felt like he didn't want to invite her at first. She was suppressing this thought all day long but now that she took care of getting Alice on board and that stress factor was gone, she had to be honest with herself. He sounded hesitant when he was inviting her. Why? If he didn't want her there he wouldn't have invited her, she was sure. He didn't strike her as a people pleaser. He _almost_ didn't invite her. That stung… Why did he change his mind? And also, this weird goodbye he gave her. It almost felt like he was trying to memorize her in detail. The way he looked at her was just too… Ugh, she couldn't decipher it yet. Why was he so cryptic? And why didn't he kiss her? The moment was perfect… Was he not interested in her like that? But then, he did invite her, she reminded herself.

She stopped breathing for a second – what if he invited her out of pity? What a dreadful thought! What if she was looking at him with puppy dog eyes and he felt bad for not inviting her? That thought made her want to puke. No. Can't be. She's not a pity case. She couldn't think like that if she wanted to have any confidence with her tomorrow. She needed to steer her thoughts in the opposite direction.

He did want her, he was the one seducing her that night in the club, he was the one who sought her out, who sent Jasper… _He_ picked her up from her school, _he_ made an effort to find out where that school was! The more she was chanting those things to herself the more confident she got. No, he didn't invite her out of pity. He wanted her company. All these recent events are the proof of that. _He_ came up with the apology lunch after all! Not her. She will not let her self-doubt ruin tomorrow for her. She went to sleep that night with her anxiety somewhat dulled down.

The next day passed in a blur. Bella had several classes starting early in the morning, then a rehearsal from 3 to 6 pm. Alice found out that the event starts at 10 in the evening so Bella had to be home no later than 7 for the final fitting. She tried to pay maximum attention in the class but was pretty useless that day, her mind wandering off to the upcoming evening every other minute. She got herself together for the rehearsal though. She dove in into her character and hasn't thought of Edward Cullen, not once. Well, maybe just once.

When she finally got home Alice started to work her magic. The dress was beautiful. She looked like a muse. The color was somewhere between beige and gold. The silhouette was simple – it was beautiful long strapless dress that accented her tiny waist and gave her body a beautiful hourglass shape. Another layer of fabric was probably chiffon and that's what gave the dress this dreamlike quality. It was flowing down her body like water, hugging her and overlapping at her waist – she did look like a nymph that just came out of some magic forest. She never felt more feminine in her entire life; she couldn't believe her own reflection in the mirror. Alice was a genius! The mask fit the dress perfectly. It was this champagne color, with a gold flower on the side and some feathers attached to it.

"You're very fortunate I had a dress already!" Alice said, while adjusting final details on Bella, "I had this little paid project last summer – music video for this indie band, the budget was low but I managed and kept the dress after. The model was pretty much your exact size. There was no way I could've made something from scratch overnight; I did the masks though!" she said all business-like. "Ok, done! Give me a little twirl," she said with a smile, looking proud of her work.

Bella giggled and twirled a couple of times – she felt giddy from excitement. She was happy. She felt like a Cinderella getting ready for the ball… Cinderella – how silly.

"Alice, I don't know what I'd do without you," Bella said, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with how lucky she is to have met Alice, "thank you… I don't tell you that enough but I'm so grateful I met a friend like you," she looked down suddenly feeling shy. One day she hoped she'll be able to express her feelings freely.

"Don't even start that now, your eyes gonna get puffy!" Alice said with a warm smile. "When you're going to get Oscar or Tony or whatever it is theatre actors get, promise I'll be your plus one," Alice winked at her and went to her room to change into her dress. "And you're going to wear a dress by me to the ceremony!" she added quickly before shutting the door.

Bella laughed. Of course, she thought, no question there – Alice will always be her personal designer.

She did her makeup and hair without any help, which in a way she was proud of. What a change over the course of one year, not even, she thought. A year ago she would not have a clue about what to do. At 10 pm they were both ready and looking stunning. Alice was wearing a beautiful dark blue dress and a gorgeous black mask – the outfit was somehow making her teeny tiny form look witchy and dangerous. They looked each other over and started laughing, both of them for some reason feeling nervous and excited at the same time.

"Let's go," said Alice, for the first time sounding timid. Bella was surprised; she's never seen her friend losing her bulletproof confidence.

They arrived at the club around 10:30 and went straight for the door host, not waiting in line. Bella wasn't sure about their boldness but it worked, they again turned out to be on a VIP list and were escorted inside without any wait. The event was mostly held in the grand ballroom with the second floor being open to the public as well. It looked like the third floor and the rooftop were closed off tonight, maybe because this event was private therefore there was not that many people to fill all the floors, or maybe due to the temperature drop – it was indeed really chilly outside. Bella felt a little pang of sadness she won't be able to enjoy the rooftop tonight. She really liked this rooftop last time she was here.

The place looked even more grandiose than she remembered, maybe the fact that everyone was wearing a beautiful costume added to the feel of it. They got rid of their coats at the coat check and started towards the bar.

Bella was mesmerized – everyone was so beautiful, masks were creating this air of mystery. More people were arriving; the place was gradually filling up. They were walking through the crowd towards the bar and Bella tried to spot Edward in those tall masked strangers she was passing by but so far no luck. They ordered a couple of apple martinis.

"Wow," Alice said overlooking the room. Bella couldn't believe Alice was short for words – that never happened before.

"I know," Bella said. "Maybe we should try the second floor first? The balcony? Observe everybody for a second?" she was pretty much overwhelmed. Is this how rich people spend Tuesday nights? She needed a second to adjust…

"Good idea!" Alice quickly looked at the second level that was this balcony wrapping around the grand ballroom. "Let's go," she said quickly.

When they got to the second floor they both breathed out. There were just a few people here. Who would've thought that the amount of wealth and privilege the room seemed to ooze would intimidate them both? They started to observe people on the main floor. Alice was talking about clothes. Apparently, she recognized most of the dresses and all of them were from the newest collections by Oscar de la Renta, Yves Saint Laurent, Alexander McQueen and so on. No wonder Alice got quiet.

"It's like a red carpet for Met Gala or something," she was sounding really nervous now. "I think our dresses are like the only two that are made by an unknown designer and were not featured during the last New York Fashion Week," Alice's voice was getting anxious.

"Calm down," Bella smiled. This was officially the first time she was soothing her friend and not the other way around. "We look gorgeous and these dresses you made are absolutely dream-like. You'll see! You'll be getting compliments all night I'm sure! Soon _your_ works will be featured on that fashion week thingy," Bella finished with all seriousness.

"Fashion Week thingy?" she giggled. "You really think so?"

"I have no doubt," Bella said with absolute conviction. "Alice Brandon, you will build your empire, you'll see."

Alice bounced up and down a couple of times and hugged Bella. The crisis was averted, she was back to being her bubbly self.

"Ok, do you want to try to mingle or do you want to stay here for a while?" Alice started. "Did you spot that mystery person that invited you?"

"Not yet…" Bella said looking back down and trying to figure out if Edward was there.

"Let's go back down, we could use another drink anyway," Alice suggested.

Indeed, Bella thought.

They went downstairs and headed towards the bar. The floor was more crowded now so to get to the bar turned out to be a struggle. She was passing by these groups of people when suddenly she felt it – she felt his presence before she even saw him. She turned her head and there he was, about 30 feet away, wearing a devil mask, talking to a group of five. Mask or not, she felt like her body would recognize him anywhere; she had no doubt it was him. He stopped midsentence and looked in her direction, he was just as aware of her as she was of him. Their eyes met for a second and she stopped breathing. He was taking her in, his eyes moved down her body slowly and then back up. That look paired with the devil mask he was wearing was making him look absolutely deviant and making her heart rate speed up tenfold. She expected him to come up to her but instead, when his eyes landed back on hers he just gave her a nod. She returned the gesture. She was surprised by this sudden aloofness and then she saw some redhead come up to him and attach herself to his arm. He didn't shake her off. Was she his date? Slowly he turned back to his group and continued the conversation. Bella was surprised, to say the least; she didn't expect his reaction to be so cool. She continued towards the bar trying to get her scrambled emotions in check. Why in the world did he invite her?! She thought they were both aware of this attraction existing between them. She also had a plus one as he told her but it never even occurred to her to bring a date instead of her best friend. What is this? She was flabbergasted. She reached the bar where Alice was already paying for their drinks.

"What took you so long? I looked back and you weren't here all of a sudden. Did you run into someone you know?" Alice asked.

"Something like that," Bella said trying to hide the disappointment she felt.

"Are you ok?" Alice asked seeming more concerned. "You look like someone just killed your puppy or something".

Oh wow, she really needed to get herself together.

"No-no, I'm fine," she said putting a tight smile on right away. She could tell Alice wasn't buying it. "It's just these shoes, they're killing me…"

"Ouch, that bad huh? I think I have a Band-Aid, you want it?" Alice started going through her purse.

"No, not yet, maybe I just need to get used to them, I barely ever wore this pair," Bella was turning into Pinocchio, these shoes were as comfortable as a pair of heels could ever be.

"Well, let me know if you'll need it! I got you," Alice said with a smile. "Oh look, there's Jasper!" Alice nodded towards one of the tables. 

Jasper was wearing a phantom mask and some dark costume. It was hard to tell since he was sitting. There were three people at that table - Jasper, the other guy that Bella still didn't know but that was attached to Edward and Jasper at all times, wearing a raven mask that was currently off, and a blond she's never seen before. Her mask looked angelic, with a lot of intricate details and what looked like tiny gems and stones. Her whole outfit seemed angelic, but it was hard to tell because she was sitting between the boys. But for some reason, the energy about her didn't seem angelic at all, more like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Jasper noticed Bella and Alice, got up and headed towards them. 

"Ladies," he said in his smooth honey voice. He reached out to kiss Alice's hand and then Bella's. "Pleasure as always" he smiled.

"How did you recognize us?" Alice asked in a flirty voice. "Isn't masked ball supposed to add mystery, we are wearing masks after all," she added with a smile.

"I would recognize you, ladies, anywhere, masks or not," he said with a smirk. What a smooth talker, Bella thought. "Would you like to join us?" he continued.

"Sure," Alice said before Bella could react.

Right now, after a very chill greeting from Edward, Bella wasn't sure she wanted to be anywhere near his little click of friends. Her emotions were all over the place.

They started towards the table. Jasper introduced them to his friends. 

"This is my friend Emmett," Jasper said referring to the guy with the raven mask, "and this beauty is Rosalie," he pointed to the not-so-angelic blond. "Please ladies, sit down."

Bella ended up sitting between Alice and Emmett, which was not her first choice but she guessed it was better than to end up next to unfriendly blond that was sitting next to Emmett. Jasper was on the other side, next to Alice.

"So how's it going?" Jasper was trying for small talk to engage them and Bella inwardly cringed. Somehow sitting next to them she felt like a fish out of the water. To say she was out of her comfort zone was an understatement of the century. Thank God Alice was next to her.

"Pretty good, you know," Alice said with a smirk, "enjoying what seems to be a red carpet for the Oscar's. Who's private party is this anyway?" Bella could tell Alice was truly curious.

"Oh just this guy," Jasper said, "He's a wealthy old man, finance guy, who enjoys theatrics. He throws these things every year, this year we got lucky he chose our venue to host it", Jasper was trying to play it down or something, like he doesn't come from that same world, the world where you spend $10000 on an outfit to come out on a Tuesday night. It was all fake, Bella could tell - she could spot bad acting from a mile away. They were indeed the rich kids, she called it the very first time she saw them almost a year ago at that music venue.

"Impressive," Alice said, "I feel like I'm attending fashion week tonight, only with masks", she smiled.

"Probably something you've never experienced before, enjoy", Rosalie said to no one in particular.

Wow, Bella thought, what an "angel"...

"Actually I attended most of the shows of the New York fashion week in last 2 years, every single day of it, but I'm enjoying anyway, thank you for your concern ", Alice deadpanned.

Rosalie looked at Alice what seemed like a little impressed but covered it up right away. She was not happy, Bella could tell.

"Don't mind Rosalie", Jasper said, "she's a moody creature".

Rosalie was now sending daggers to Jasper - if looks could kill, Jasper would be bleeding out right now.

"But you two look beautiful," Jasper continued. A true diplomat.

"Where did you get your outfits? At a Macy's sale or something?" Rosalie said and Emmett snickered. What a douche, Bella thought.

"No-no, they're custom made", Alice said coldly. "So what do you guys do? Profession I mean," Alice took the lead and steered the conversation in a completely different direction, "or you just living off your parents' trust funds?" she said looking at Rosalie knowingly.

Rosalie flinched.

"I guess I need another drink," the blond pretty much spat out and got up heading towards the bar.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? It was a joke," Alice said innocently.

"Don't worry about it," Jasper said looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"How did you get invited anyway?" Emmett asked, looking upset that Rosalie was rubbed the wrong way.

Jasper was sending daggers to him now, like that question was not supposed to be asked.

Bella was put on the spot but she was so annoyed by this privileged bs that she couldn't stop herself.

"Edward invited us," she said curtly taking a sip of her drink. Somehow that piece of information shut Emmett right up. Apparently, Edward was even more of an influence than Bella assumed. She did not miss Alice becoming stiff next to her. She sneaked a glance at her friend. There were a thousand questions in Alice's eyes but Bella brushed it off, she'll just have to deal with it tomorrow. She had to shut that guy up.

"And there he is by the way," Jasper said somewhat relieved.

Bella felt the dread inside her the moment she heard that and when she looked up, indeed, there he was. Edward Cullen himself, with the obnoxious redhead on his arm.

 ** _To be continued…_**

 _ **Author's Note:**_

With the holidays and going back to school it took me much longer than intended to put another chapter out but from now on the pace should be smoother. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year:)


End file.
